NINE OF SWORDS
Self Critique -- A slave to mental agony. Obsessive compulsive thinking. Wakefulness and distress. Anxiety over self worth. Guilt and shame over who you are. Feeling like a failure. Worry and stress.
SHADOW: Examine the intensity and power of your mind on its darkest night. Most of what occurs in the world has nothing to do with you. Flip your worst-case scenario insideout to discover the glittering jewels within. Negative thinking, self-blame, and shame feed the ego just as much as an overinflated sense of importance. They are two sides of the same coin (or same brain). Stop playing the role of victim, savior, aggressor, etc., and begin the work of being your true self. How? Baby steps. Create a "Diary of Dark Thoughts" and write down all the horrible thoughts you think about yourself and other people. Be brutally honest. Every week choose one single dark thought and rewrite it from a positive point of view. Each time you catch yourself thinking the negative version, replace it with the empowering one.
A woman sits on the ground, her legs curled beneath her. Her left hand cradles her cheek as inner thoughts pound her temple. Anguish fills her face. It is the dark night of the soul, insanity, and thoughts gone mad.
Nine swords reflect the tortured, wild, and untamed mind. The head is rattled, sleep disturbed. Disrupted thought patterns lead to anxiety. Passive-aggressive behavior poisons the soul and nothing can be trusted, least of all your own delicate sanity.
We create and redefine past happenings by interpreting events through our point of view, thoughts, and feelings. Thoughts can attach to negative feelings and compound if we are not diligent in releasing negativity and expectations while rooting into the present moment. The Nine of Swords usually appears when the situation at hand is so mentally arduous that changing your thoughts is the only option. It is the breaking point at which you create a new system of thinking and conceive of a new approach. The Nine of Swords also reflects an indulgence in negative self-talk and poisonous self-critique. Consider how your thoughts are serving you.